Ok moms and dads do you ever think of what you were like as a child, what you thought when asked to do something by your parents? I say this because my husband is always bitching at our kids for things and then gets mad at me because I don’t agree with him on certain parenting techniques he uses.
My reason for not agreeing with him is because he doesn’t think about how he was as a kid and he sets unrealistic expectations for our children which when they can’t meet those expectations, he gets angry and starts to yell at them, they look at him like they are defeated because their little minds are not developed enough to grasp what he is asking for yet. Some of his rants are about things the kids didn’t even know they were supposed to do. I always say to him “did you do this when you were a kid. Let me give an example: This weekend my husband was going to cut the grass, he wanted the kids to help clean up the yard before he started the mower (which is an understandable request), however, he never told the kids that he wanted them to do this, he just expected them to know that was what they were supposed to do. This to me is unrealistic for kids of their ages. Now when you all were 11 and 13 did you ever think to yourselves “hey dad is cutting the grass I really want to go out and help him pick up sticks instead of playing with my friends or playing video games “, NO YOU DID NOT! Well at least I never did. I did chores because I was forced to do them not because I really wanted to dust the baseboards. I did chores because my mother or father had to tell me several times to do my chores never because I remembered to do them myself.
Our children are not mind readers, we need to tell them what we expect of them, what they need to do and when they need to do it. Then we need to tell them again and again! Maybe just maybe then they will grow up to be decent human beings. If my husband is reading this the next time, you are hearing the bass from our daughters’ speakers at midnight remember when we were that age and fell asleep with the stereo on our parents came in our rooms and turned it off, they did not wait till the next morning to yell at us for being rude and suffer the whole night listening to the it! well at least mine did anyway!
I am not saying to set low expectations for your children, I am saying that we need to be more realistic and set our standards to obtainable goals so that when our children meet these goals or expectations they feel as if they have succeeded and then from there, we can set the next goal a little higher but do not expect your child to hit that mark right away and don’t yell or act disappointed when they don’t, just realize that you don’t always succeed the first time it takes many tries. How does the saying go “if at first you don’t succeed try, try again”.
Keep doing what you’re doing moms and dads! We got this! We just need to remember what we were like as kids and hope we can turn our kids out to be better than we are!!! Just know I’m proud of you and you’re doing a great job!