I have realized so many differences from the way I grew up. Some are good, Some are bad and some are just different. When I was kids I can’t remember doing the things kids get to do today, talking to people the way they think it is ok to talk to a grown person, and the entitlement I feel most kids feel these days.
Being seen and not heard was the way of life when I was growing up. We would go visiting family every sunday and the adults would all be talking and laughing while us kids were made to sit on the couch and entertain ourselves, if you were caught fooling around you would get the stink eye from your mother with a finger wave telling you to knock it off silently. You would really be in trouble when you didn’t stop messing around and your mother would come over and in a mean whisper say “ just wait till we get home and I tell your father”. You knew at that point all the fun was over and you had to sit and touch your thumbs to each finger and see how fast you can go without missing a finger! Well this was how I was raised anyway.
Next comes the chores around the house. When I wasn’t in trouble for getting a B on my report card (which only happened once) I was the one that did the laundry and did the dishes, that was until we got a dish washer and then ALL I had to do was wash the dishes, put them in the dishwasher, then dry them off and put them away. To me this was an extra step that I had to do but I never complained about it because I saw how hard my parents worked so I always did my share.
I lived in a very small town and was allowed to go out and walk anywhere I wanted as long as I was home by the time the street lights come on. As I got older yes i would sneak out but mostly I would sneak in. Me and my sister had a whole plan that she would wake up at the time I was suppose to be home which was 930pm, she would sneak to the door and open it then she closed and locked the door like i was coming home. Sometimes she would even answer my parents when they asked if it was me coming in the door, after that she would walk down to my bedroom in the basement and unlock basement door and she would usually end up sleeping in my room all night (she wouldn’t even budge when I got home and got in bed.) When I got home I would come in the basement door and no one was the wiser! We had so many secrets from my parents and when she became a teenager she was lucky that her sister was 5 years older so she would have someone to drive her around. That ended with blackmail by her. She would tell me she wouldn’t help me sneak in if i didn’t take her wherever she wished to go.
So tell me was this a bad life! No, I don’t believe it was, as a child I had a great imagination because I had to entertain myself. That lead to finding great ideas as a teenager like finding a way to sneak in. I did tons of stuff when I was out with my friends but my parents knew nothing. As long I was there in the morning they never had a clue. I had an amazing childhood full of wonder and excitement. There was never a dull moment and if there was my parents found a way to fix the boredom. My mother’s favorite thing to have us do as a punishment was either clean all the kitchen cupboards or clean all the baseboards in the house.
Today kids are so different, let’s start with when we go to family dinners. The being seen and not heard demeanor is gone. They want to be in the mix and once they get bored they sit and play on their phones or game consoles, so when someone speaks to them they aren’t paying attention.
Chores are a whole new ball game. Kids expect rewards now for doing chores. As a child I know some got allowances but I did not I did mine because that’s what I was told to do and I listened. Nowadays children expect allowances and expect you to buy them the toys,games,cloths, and shoes they want, not what you can afford like my parents gave us. Parents today work so hard to give their children everything they want and is that a bad thing No i don’t believe so. We all want our kids to be happy but we need to find a way for we as parents to not feel like the childrens slaves. We clean the house because the kids never do the chores and yet we still give and give because it is easier to do it ourselves then to have to bitch at them constantly to do their damn chores.
My children tell me everything and at first I loved that, I really did. I told my children to never lie to me, I will be more upset if you get caught in a lie then if you tell me the truth. With the truth we can figure out a solution before things get worse but with a lie things are already worse and now we have to back track to fix the problem. There is nothing they can tell me that will truly piss me off if it is the truth, I might get mad for a little bit, I will get over it quickly but a lie will automatically make me flip out like a psycho bitch lol! Now that my kids are teenagers they still tell me everything and I mean everything. My daughter told me the other day that she was going to sneak out at midnight and meet her best friend that lives a street up then they were going go back home and she will be gone for 15 mins lol, she didn’t want me to worry if I saw her location change. Even though I think that them telling me all this stuff is great, they tell me about all the stuff their friends do and everything that happens at school and what their friends are doing sexually and what they have done sexually which is not much thank God, But some things I just don’t think I want to know. Like I don’t need to know that my 15yr old got to second base. I just shake my head and say thanks for telling me.
I would love to know when things changed so much from when i was a kid. I know we and all generations before us have wanted better for our kids than we had, but when does it stop. Kids are these days are so sensitive and everything hurts there feelings. We were taught to toughen up and get over it. Todays kids are so entitled and think they deserve everything they want and that’s not how my family is going to be raised, my children do their chores ( no matter how much I have to bitch at them to get it done) If there is something special they want.
We as parents need to tell ourselves that we are doing better than our parents did and we are doing enough for our children. We need to stop trying to keep up with the jones and focus on our children and who they are as human beings and what we teach them now will effect them in the future. We need to stop giving into them just because it is easier and go back to discipline and punishment no matter how much it hurts us. I think my generation is a great group of people so maybe we need to think about that and focus on how we were raised and try to do it with our kids because these kids are our future and they need to step it up if they want to become the next leaders of the world!
Mom and Dad just know you are doing a great job and don’t let anyone tell you different. This is just some food for thought and a little bit of what I am facing daily raising teenagers. I would like there to be some mystery between me and my kids but I want them to know they can always come to me and I will be there.